How the Troll Stole Business
It began with a meal not as good as could be,
That made the Troll think: “Why’d they do this to me?”
“This Business must pay for their personal slight!”
As his heart filled with rage, and malice, and spite.
What made matters worse, other guests seemed so merry,
So merry they were, so very, very.
The more the Troll thought of the joy the place brings,
The more the Troll thought: “I must stop this whole thing.”
“Their joy is far more than my heart can allow.
I’ll stop Business from coming! But how?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Troll got a wonderful, awful idea!
“I know just what to do!” the Troll laughed in his throat.
I’ll take from the Business what keeps it afloat.
“Just imagine the business the Business will lose,
When the world is exposed to my nasty reviews.”
“This is stop number one,” the Troll gleefully yelped,
As he signed into Yelp!, and his fellow trolls helped.
Then he signed into Twitter, hashtag #Badeats,
And tweeted 10,000 terrible Tweets.
Facebook was next, the Business home page,
He filled it with scorn, and rants, and rage.
He used 5,000 names on the site TripAdvisor,
5,000 fake posts, and they’d be none-the-wiser.
He didn’t stop there, he opened his Gram,
And posted a slam and a slam and a slam.
“The wait was too long, the service was rude,
The drinks are too pricy, there’s hair in my food.”
As the Troll’s mad trolling began to go viral,
He watched the star ratings spiral and spiral.
His plan was working! Just as he planned!
No Business could bear this blight on its brand.
The Troll’s evil scheme would soon come to fruition,
So he stayed up all night to await the attrition.
At a quarter of dawn, all the Hoos still in bed,
The Troll smiled to himself, and dreamt of their dread.
“Pooh-pooh to the Hoos!” he was Trollfully humming.
They’re finding out now that no Business is coming!
They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then the Hoos down in Hooville will all cry boo-hoo!
“That’s a noise,” trolled the Troll, “that I simply must hear!”
He paused, and the Troll put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low, then it started to grow.
But this sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded glad!
Laughter, and joy, and wine glasses clinking,
A room full of guests, eating and drinking.
He hadn’t stopped Business from coming! It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Troll, with his Troll feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?”
It came without ratings! It came without posts!
Or hashtags, or clickbait, or webpage hosts!
He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Troll thought of something he hadn’t before.
Maybe Business is not a pursuit of acclaim,
Or online reviews or media fame.
That’s not the reason they do what they do.
The reason is Love. The reason is You.
Their passion, their drive, what keeps them obsessed
Is serving and caring for each of their guests.
The Business that came despite his attack
Was those who felt Love, and shared that Love back.
So, next time the Troll might have to wait,
He’ll love the Love back, not meet Love with hate.